I have been charged with the pleasant duty of welcoming Craig Shackleton to the Collishaw family. I feel duty-bound to tell Craig the truth about what he is getting into. As Rachel’s family is large and complex, this task could take a while, so I ask you all to please bear with me

Rachel’s family is indeed large, it spans many cultures, several countries and, so far, two continents. Her family’s broad reach, however, belies its closeness. She can count on love and support from family members all across Canada, in many parts of the United States, in England, in France (especially in France), and now, Craig, so can you.

All families have their rites of passage and mark their milestones. Your marriage today is an important rite of passage, an important milestone. A new family unit is being formed at the intersection of two large extended families, the Collishaws and the Shackletons.

Rachel’s family is so large that we celebrate some important family milestone every day. Consider the milestones from just this past week:

Monday, 14 July:

Rachel’s newest second cousin, Ross MacDonald, was born to Rachel’s first cousin, once removed, Mary (Ross) MacDonald and her husband, Leo MacDonald, at 15:45.

Ross, Rachel’s paternal grandmother’s maiden name, seems to be either the first name or the last name of a very large number of people in her family. My tie is of the Ross dress tartan. My kilt is not my kilt at all. In our family, cooperation and sharing are important watchwords. The kilt belongs to George Matheson, Rachel’s first cousin, once removed. George is not with us today, but he was pleased and honoured to send his kilt to be here. George and I displace about the same volume of air. However, I displace more at lower altitudes, while George, who is two metres tall, displaces more at higher altitudes. The kilt is in the Matheson hunting tartan.

Many people here have been asking me and the other men in kilts here present what is worn under our kilts. I am sure I speak for all of my fellow men in kilts when I reply definitively and finally to all who have enquired Absolutely nothing is worn under our kilts…everything under them is in perfect working order.

Tuesday, 15 July: Rachel’s first cousin, Elizabeth Varty, turned 15. Elizabeth, please stand. There are two important things that you should know about Elizabeth. The first is that it is absolutely impossible to embarrass her, and the second, perhaps of great interest to some of the young men in the room, is that Elizabeth has never been kissed.

On this same day, the fifteenth of July 1946, 51 years ago, Rachel’s paternal grandparents, my mother and father, were married in Moncton, New Brunswick. Those who know me and are reasonably competent in mathematics and biology may have trouble understanding how this could be so. It came about in the following way. In 1946, the first post-war year, the federal government, in order to make up for the lost years of the Second World War, issued an edict to encourage family formation. It was decreed that the gestational period for first births could actually be less than the usual nine months. My parents, being enthusiastic Canadian citizens, chose the five-and-a-half month option, so that I could be born in the same year as their marriage.

Wednesday, 16 July: We did not actually have a family milestone for this date… until now. Last Wednesday was Craig Shackleton’s twenty-eighth birthday. Happy birthday, Craig. Your birthday will henceforth be observed as a Collishaw family milestone.

Thursday, 17 July: This was the birthday of Rachel’s maternal grandfather, the grandfather she never knew, because 39 years ago, on 9 July 1958, he died prematurely and tragically as the result of a traffic accident.

Friday, 18 July: Jim Collishaw, please stand up. The man you see before you, Rachel’s uncie, and my brother, was, to all appearances, not born yesterday. In fact, however, he was born yesterday…yesterday, forty-eight years ago. Happy birthday, Jim.

Saturday, 19 July: That brings us to today, and today’s rite of passage, today’s milestone, Rachel and Craig marry and form a new nuclear family, a new segment of much larger extended families.

What is the deeper meaning of passing all these milestones, all these births, deaths and marriages? Where is this family going? What is the true work, what is the true purpose of this family?

Families that work well transmit norms and values from generation to generation, thereby making themselves immortal. Rachel’s family succeeds outstandingly well at its fundamental purpose. All of us, as individuals, are mortal beings. The life of every individual will end, but strong families, like the Collishaws and the Shackletons, like Craig’s and Rachel’s families, can live forever. The continued functioning of societies, economies, nations, and, ultimately, the whole world depends on families like the Collishaws and the Shackletons that are strong, mutually supportive and that survive through succeeding generations.

To illustrate what I mean, I need to tell you more about Rachel and her paternal grandfather, my father, Ted Collishaw, and the bond between them. To all appearances, they have not been that close. They live in different cities and see ceach other only a few times a year. Yet through a happy and magic combination of influences, direct and indirect (indirect influences that operate, among others, through her parents, Barbara and myself), through influences real and vicarious, through genetics and heredity, through nature and nurture, Rachel has grown to adulthood poseessing most of the fine qualities of her grandfather. I am sure he very proud of her, as are we all

What are these qualities? They are many, but I will highlight only a few.

Grim determination to succeed at all projects they put their mind to:

Ted Collishaw

He was the son of a poor immigrant tenant farmer, Rachel’s great-grandfather, Tom Collishaw, known to all his grandchildren as Pop. By dint of his own grim determination, Ted succeeded in acquiring a university education and a full professional career. He married and raised six children, all of whom have acquired one or more university degrees

Rachel Collishaw

Rachel’s grim determination to succeed began on the first day of her life. She successfully removed the hospital mittens that newborns are forced to wear to prevent them from scratching themselves. That is how determined she was to begin a lifetime of nailbiting Imagine her frustration at discovering that she had no teeth! So she quickly grew some an began a full career of nailbiting, which I believe she is now determined to bring to an end. Like all of Rachel’s projects, I have no doubt that she will succeed

Let us think of Craig Shackleton as one of Rachel’s projects. Craig, if you ever had any doubts about entering this marriage, I assure you that you stood no chance of backing out. In her projects, Rachel does not fail

Athletics:

Ted Collishaw

Ted received the award and pin for being the best track and field athlete in his high school Petrolia District High School in Lambton County, Ontario

Rachel Collishaw

Rachel slightly fumbled the hereditary torch for high school athletics. While she did compete, the best result she could manage was sixth prize for swimming backwards.

Teacher:

Ted Collishaw

Ted was always a teacher. In the 1930s at age 18, the same age that Rachel’s sister, Mary Ann is now, Ted taught in a one-room school in Reece’s Corners, Lambton County Ontario. In the kind of conversion that would warm the cockles of Mike Harris heart, the school was subsequently converted to a fruit stand. After the Second War, during which he served with distinction overseas in Newfoundland, Ted wemt on to acquire teacher training, a university degree and to become teacher, vice-principal and principal at various schools in Elgin and Middlesex counties.

Rachel Collishaw

Like her grandfather, Rachel has also always been a teacher. Her siblings thought her bossy, but a more charitable view would be that that was just practice teaching. A few boxes on the ears from her siblings for being too bossy quickly taught her the value of  positive encouragement and gentle persuasion as successful teaching strategies. In addition to being born to be a teacher, Rachel is now a formally qualified teacher, with twoshiny new university degrees to prove it.

Family, near and far:

Ted Collishaw

In nurturing and raising six children, Ted more than amply demonstrated his coitment to the work and purpose of his family.

Rachel Collishaw

Rachel is Ted’s first grandchild to get married, the first product of her generation of Ted’s work in support of his family. Rachel’s marriage is a visible sign that she embraces the fundamental purpose of her family, the intergenerational transfer of thoughts, ideas, words, deeds, norms and values. She shows every sign of continuing this important process for a long time to come.

Rachel may display many of the fine qualities of Ted Collishaw, but he touches many more people. All who know him as their father, their father-in-law or their grandfather, please stand. I have been speaking of Ted in the present tense, but you do not see him. He is not physically here. But Ted Collishaw lives in all these people, plus a few more that could not be with us today.

It is perhaps for this reason, secure in the knowledge that his family business, his life’s work, is complete, secure in knowledge that everything he stands for has been successfully transmitted to his children and his grandchildren, and perhaps, more than anyone else, transmitted to Rachel Margaret Collishaw Shackleton, a newly minted teacher and, as of today 19 July 1997, a newlywed, that Ted Collishaw chose to draw his last breath yesterday, 18 July 1997

Craig, your new wife Rachel is an outstanding member of our family. Craig, welcome to our family. May it live forever.